International Sports Events and Global Tension

Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Annotated response

16 correction notes

Showing 16 correction notes.

In this contemporary era, due to globalization, it is very common to play various sports with other nations’ athletes. One school of thought believes this is pivotal to reducing stress between two nations and giving the players a patriotic feeling, whilst another . Hence, I partially concur with the laid statement, and the reasons for my inclination are articulated in .

On the one hand, organizing Such an event requires a hefty amount of money as well as human resources. For instance, if a country wants to , they have to take care of other players’ living arrangements, sports facilities and their families. Thus they have to the success of that event, and it not only requires government money but also the valuable time of citizens. Eventually, this is a bad idea because of time and money.

Nevertheless, the organization of such an event is an important part of establishing relations between two governments. To cite an example, after organizing such events, two or more nations come together and exchange their culture, history, and lifestyle, which is each other very well. Along with that, ruling parties also talk with each other and try to solve problems they make good friends with each other, which is beneficial in the future and mitigates the stresses between each other.

In addition, while playing in such an event, sportspeople feel that but also . So, they feel and give their best in their game. Consequently, it a patriotic emotion in them.

On close scrutiny, I conclude that organizing the world cup helps to lessen the issues between the two nations and also . However, .

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response directly answers the question with a clear partial-agreement position and relevant supporting ideas, including a cost-based counterargument and examples on diplomacy and patriotism. The main limitation is uneven language control, with frequent errors in word choice and grammar that occasionally obscure meaning, alongside somewhat mechanical organisation.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

6.0

The essay addresses the question with a clear partial-agreement position, develops relevant main ideas about cost, diplomacy, and patriotic feeling, and supports them with examples, though some ideas remain somewhat underdeveloped or imprecisely connected to the claim.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0

Progression is broadly clear with paragraphing and linking devices, but cohesion is sometimes mechanical and logical links between sentences, such as the counterargument paragraph's abrupt framing, are not always smooth.

Lexical Resource

6.0

There is an adequate range of vocabulary with some attempts at less common items like 'hefty', 'inculcate', and 'concur', but noticeable errors in collocation and word choice, such as 'laid statement' and 'trail paragraphs', reduce precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0

A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is used with some flexibility, but frequent grammatical errors, including faulty parallelism, tense inconsistency, and pronoun problems, are present although meaning is mostly recoverable.