Causes of Youth Violent Crime and Emotional Learning

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Annotated response

18 correction notes

Showing 18 correction notes.

It is obvious that our modern lives today have experienced a considerable rise in teenage violence, especially for those under the age of eighteen. Some psychologists attribute this situation to the responsibility of teachers and parents. In fact, they do not provide children with necessary .As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree with this opinion because of .

Firstly, it is undeniable that many teachers are in favour of . This means that they only put emphasis on knowledge in main subjects such as literature, maths, history, biology and neglect to convey knowledge . For example, a large number of students may be outstanding in their disciplines but they do not have full awareness of violence’s definition, potential causes as well as severe consequences. As a result, lack of realistic perception creeps up on children to commit violent crimes.

Secondly, some give their children essential support in daily lives. Actually, the dizzying with an enormous volume of work and robs them of time to take care of children. Being devoid of love and sympathy and unsociable to others. Moreover, getting out of may expose children to damaging websites including rebellious actions. They easily imitate what they see and behave in negative ways.

In conclusion, teachers and parents are largely responsible for the of violence among . In fact, they do not help dig deep into about violence and give them necessary attention. If these matters are still common, level of teenage violence is more and more escalating.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The strongest aspect is the clear position and consistent two-paragraph development of the psychologist's claim with relevant examples. The main limitation is recurring grammatical and word-choice errors, such as subject-verb agreement and awkward phrasing, which occasionally reduce precision despite generally clear meaning.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

6.5

The response states a clear position of strong agreement and develops two relevant main ideas with examples, though the supporting explanation is at times simplistic and the conclusion briefly reiterates rather than deepens the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0

Progression is broadly clear with mechanical cohesive devices such as firstly, secondly, and as a result, but some sentences link loosely and the final prediction feels abrupt, preventing consistent coherence.

Lexical Resource

6.0

There is adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including phrases like dizzying pace and devoid of love, but noticeable spelling and word-choice slips such as pratical, younsters, and awkward collocations limit precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0

A mix of simple and complex structures is used, but frequent errors such as some parents does not give, makes parents be flooded, and robs them of time to take care of children reduce accuracy throughout.